Hatori, what's a
by omg-wtf.com
Summary: Oneshot (possibly more). Tohru has a question. I don't own Fruit's Basket. Rated M to be safe :P


"Hatori-kun?"

"Yes, Tohru?" the doctor smiled at the girl sitting opposite him at the table, before taking a long sip of coffee.

"What's an 'orgy'?"

He spluttered, spilling coffee all over himself, eyes bugging out. _What the f- _Then he regained his composure, smiled apologetically and said "Where did you learn that word?" Like he didn't already know.

Her face was the picture of innocence. "Shigure said he would like to have an 'orgy' with me and some of the Sohma men, but I'm not really sure what it means," she replied with a blush. "Why, is it bad?"

Hatori twitched. His knuckles grasped the table, and his eyes turned dark. With gritted teeth, he responded, "Yes." That son of a bitch.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Hatori-kun!" Tohru cried, arms flapping in panic. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I-it's just that..."

"What is it, Tohru?" he softened.

"Shigure said you were really looking forward to it. He said he wouldn't be surprised if you took me by yourself," she answered. "Does that mean something bad, too?"

Now Hatori was blushing madly. He struggled to find a response for that, so he decided to finish his dinner as quickly as possible and get the hell out of there.

"I-It's okay if you don't want to tell me what it means. I'll just ask Ayame!" the onigiri tried to please the dragon with her words, but they just made him all the more uncomfortable.

"No!" he exclaimed, but when she flinched, he tried to be gentler. "I'd rather you didn't ask Ayame about this. Can't you talk to Yuki, or even Kyo?" he pleaded.

The girl was oblivious to the nervous tone in his voice. "I tried asking them both. Yuki just blushed and ran upstairs, and Kyo chased Shigure away. That's why they're not at the dinner table," she explained. "Actually, that's why I invited you here – I think Yuki might be unwell. He's been in his room for a while now, and he keeps making funny noises, but he says I can't come in." She frowned.

Hatori tried to hold back an amused smirk. She really was naive. "I'm sure Yuki is fine." He avoided the question again.

Tohru carried on relentlessly. "I think I will ask Hatsuharu-san. He doesn't blush at the same things as everybody else."

Hatori sighed in defeat. "Alright, Tohru,_ I'll_ tell you what an orgy is. Do you already know about sex?"

She shook her head, eyes wide, finally silent. He sighed again. _Jesus. _

"Sex is...when two people who are attracted to each other...kind of...put their reproductive organs together. People often have sex for...ahem...enjoyment."

He looked at her awkwardly, clearing his throat. She was staring intently, waiting for him to continue.

"And an orgy is when _more _than two people have sex...all together." He was sweating now. He dabbed his forehead with a napkin.

"I don't understand," admitted Tohru, furrowing her brow. "What do you mean by 'put their reproductive organs together'? Will you...show me?"

Hatori jolted, knocking his mug from the table in shock. He blushed and sweated more furiously than ever. "Sorry..." He went to mop up the coffee from the floor, grateful for the excuse to avoid the conversation.

When he sat down again, he coughed anxiously, avoiding the girl's gaze.

"Hatori? Don't you want to show me sex?" She blinked.

Yuki was standing at the bottom of the stairs, staring at the two in disbelief. Hatori was the only one who noticed him. He looked at the boy in terror, and tried to say 'it's not what it sounds like' using only his facial expressions.

"Who are you mouthing at, Hatori-kun?" Tohru asked curiously. She peered round the door to see for herself. "Oh, hi, Yuki! Are you feeling better? Hatori-kun came to make you better, but I guess you don't need him anymore," she babbled. "Anyway, Hatori-kun was just telling me about sex, right, Hatori-kun?" she beamed at the doctor, who just shot a pained look at Yuki.

"Help me," he mouthed.

Tohru persistently dug his grave even deeper. "Except Hatori-kun doesn't seem to want to show me sex. Do you think you could show me sex, Yuki?" she asked politely.

Yuki flushed red again, matching Hatori. But she hadn't finished.

"Oh, I know, we could have an orgy!" Tohru beamed. This time it was Shigure who stumbled in at an unfortunate moment, out of breath from running from Kyo, but still with enough breath to begin a laughing fit.

Yuki and Hatori shot him daggers.

Kyo ran in shortly after, brandishing a stick. "Ya damn dog," he complained, before sensing the awkward atmosphere, and noting that Shigure was rolling around laughing.

"What's goin' on...?"

"Kyo! You're just in time! We're going to have an orgy," Tohru exclaimed happily.


End file.
